You may or may not have heard of a book called ‘The 5 Love Languages’ by Author Gary Chapman, in which he describes five specific ways a person expresses and receives Love within a Relationship.
He suggests that each individual has at least one of the following five Love Languages. Lets have a quick Look.
I will leave you to think about what your own Love language from the list above may be, but as for myself, I treasure number 4 on the list. Quality Time.
What exactly makes time quality though? After all, quality time can mean many things to many people.
For me, quality time consists of a variety of important things, one of which is verbal communication.
Verbal communication however doesn’t say enough, as it too comes in many different forms.
There are many people who are neither able or free to communicate verbally, but there are many more who are.
From those of us who are both able and free to do so, some of us will communicate more verbally than others.
Sign Language is Verbal communication for those that need it and use it, and again, some use it more than others.
For those of us who are able to speak out words using our mouth however, the same silence which accompanies those who speak sign language, can often be defined as verbal communication, because silence speaks volumes.
Talking of Volumes, verbal communication can be done through singing, shouting and screaming either separetly or all at once.
Verbal Communication can involve such things like a snore, a simple word of acknowledgment, small talk, important and necessary talk and deep conversation etc.
Regardless of how the many different types of verbal communication mentioned above are expressed, verbal communication itself is simply a release mechanism used to transfer knowledge.
This knowledge is based on information that has either been thought of, learned or received.
It remains within an individual and is used as a reference point to both draw from and use for the purposes of ourselves, others or both.
This information can be referred to as high information or low information, and when this information is drawn forth, and the knowledge shared, it can be similiar to a high data transfer or a low data transfer.
During a conversation with a very good and trustworthy Friend (you know who you are), I shared in detail my frustrations regarding communication difficulties.
In that conversation, he introduced me to the topic of ‘Verbal Communication through High Information and Low Information People’.
Upon reading the phrase ‘high information and low information people’, many people will automatically assume that I am referring to smart and stupid people, superior and inferior people, or good and bad people.
All I can say to you regarding that, is please do not assume, for it will only make an ASS out of U and ME.
The phrase ‘High information and low information people’ simply describes two groups of people who verbally communicate information very differently to one another.
The first group, consists of high information people. They are Individuals who by their own nature receive, hold and transfer a high amount of information.
They may not necessarily know more, but they do however need more.
Often, though not always, verbal communication with this group will usually involve the need for greater depth and detail on the topic of conversation at hand.
This is especially true when the topic of conversation is one of personal interest to them.
For this group, issues of equal importance are to be found within the depth and detail itself.
To simply ignore it can leave a high information person feeling restless, unexpressed and having not received or given the full picture.
They come alive in conversations with colour, which the second group often view as unnecessary.
The second group, consisting of ‘low information people’ are simply individuals that neither want, or need to go into depth and detail in order to express themselves or to understand others.
They are people that need a simple overview of any given situation or topic of conversation and like to just get to the point and move on.
For those of you that know me, you will know that I belong to the first group of ‘high information people’ and for those of you that don’t know me, well this post, like almost every other post I’ve written, is probably evidence of it.
I always struggled to separate relevant and irrelevant information in conversations, as well as when to start and when to stop the conversation itself.
However, over time I began to observe and learn alot about my ways of communicating.
This helped me to begin the process of correcting and developing how to verbally express myself into a much more constructive and structured manner.
There have been enough times in the past where I have found myself in two way conversations in which both the person and myself were not only involved, but so too interested in whatever the theme happened to have been, as well as simply enjoying not only the conversation, but so to, the time spent together.
There have however been much more times with much more people where I sensed that they were either bored, uninterested or alternatively overwhelmed with what I happened to be talking about, regardless of the theme being discussed.
If you are waking up at this part of the post, or alternatively if you find yourself to be dizzy, confused, suffering from a headache, breathing heavily and wanting to run for the hills, then you are probably one of those people.
I should also inform you though that I currently live upon one of those hills. In that case… see you soon.
For many people, my topics of conversation were either too much, or too complicated. For the few, they were good, and for the very few, they weren’t enough.
I often analysed conversations after they had finished and would often be left feeling strange, misunderstood, confused and frustrated and looking like this.
In many ways I felt fully normal, and yet because many conversations would leave me feeling rather strange and insecure I began to withdraw myself more and more in a way that affected me mentally.
When my Good Friend told me about ‘high info’ people and ‘low info’ people, I was both comforted and encouraged.
He walked me through my situation, and showed me how in my day to day life, the majority of people who I was involved with through either work relationships, Family relationships, etc etc were simply low info people.
They were, and are mainly people who I try to connect with, struggle to connect with and don’t connect with and vice versa.
The struggle on my side was partly because of the boring, colourless and very dry perception that I had of them.
Knowing what I now know, Its now easier for me to at least understand them, approach them and my conversations with them in a much more different yet better way.
Though their own approach may not have changed, I have, and I have learned to be more accepting of it, and to be less offended by it.
If your a low info person, then good, be yourself. I would love to be able to express myself in a way like you.
I’ll try to work with low info without overwhelming you, but forgive me if it doesnt always happen successfully.
I hope that you too can mutally try to work with my high info ways if and when they come up in conversation, and I too will try to be equally as understanding and forgiving when it doesn’t go to plan.
It takes understanding and acceptance from both sides.
If your a high info Person, then good. Be yourself just as much as anyone else but develop a strategy and work on it.
When all is said and done, and whether you happen to be a high info or low info person, if someone has a problem with you because of it, then its exactly that…Their problem.
A Problem that comes from their own insecurity and inability to be or relate to either one or the other.
I know enough people like this in my own life who don’t want too much to do with me because I don’t fit into their own little narrow colourless worldview and also because they feel challenged within their comfort zone.
It is also a problem to them which comes out of their own illusion of Normal. An illusion where those people think that their standard is the standard to live by and judge from.
Oh how wrong, closed minded, self righteous and boxed in they truly are. Someone should tell them the truth.
The question is folks, should we tell them in a high info or low info conversation? Maybe we all first need to sit down and talk about it together. Either that or just have a laugh.
That my Friends, is high info/low info unboxed.